June 25, 2020 Counseling 0

I came out to my parents in the second week of March 2020. I decided to do it after figuring out that I am bisexual. To be honest, I am in a relationship with a man right now, which I feel very proud of. But I did not want to deceive my loving mom and dad, so I flew home to tell them the truth about my identity.

When I finally sat down with my folks, I was not surprised to hear their objections. Mom asked, “Are you sure? Is this not a mere phase that you might outgrow? What would we tell our relatives and friends?” Those questions, I could handle. My mother lived in the suburbs all her life, so she was accustomed to making sure that our family was always picture-perfect.

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Source: pexels.com

However, it hurt me deeply when Dad said, “You must be sick.” I knew that he was old-school, that he had not embraced open-mindedness yet. I merely hoped that my father would be more supportive than this, considering I had been a filial son. Seeing him react this way made me want to fly back to the East Coast and cry in my boyfriend’s arms. Still, when Mom encouraged me to stay longer, I agreed to leave on the third day, even though it was evident that this visit would be very awkward.

Unfortunately, before day #3 came, the strict quarantine policy was issued at the state where my parents lived. The local government unit did not allow land or air transportation to and fro; if anyone insisted on going in, they would have to do 14-day self-quarantine. Nevertheless, I might be sadder than those people because the regulation meant that I had to isolate with my homophobic parents for God knows how long.

It was not a walk in the park, but I dealt with the situation by:

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Not Engaging In Or Starting A Yelling Match

The first lesson that I remember Mom teaching me was that nothing good could come out of fighting. I took that advice to heart; that’s why I had no intention of starting or engaging in a yelling match with my parents.

Although they could not understand what I was going through (yet), I did not feel the need to hurl myself and get angry if they did not accept me. Instead, I tried to sound as diplomatic as possible while sharing how I accepted that I felt attraction towards both sexes. It was undoubtedly met with protests, but at least I did not fight fire with fire.

how-to-deal-with-homophobic-parents-while-isolating-together

Source: pixabay.com

Trying To Make Them See That Nothing Changed With Me In General

In the first few days of quarantine, I was genuinely sad because my mom and dad still refused to take my new identity seriously. However, after musing about it and consulting some friends in the gay community, I realized that they might feel scared of losing their son once they accepted me.

This idea prompted me to start doing things that I used to do when we thought that I was heterosexual. I mowed the lawn, fixed Dad’s car, watched sports shows, and did other things that we used to enjoy—all for the sake of making Mom and Dad see that not much would change despite my revelation.

how-to-deal-with-homophobic-parents-while-isolating-together

Source: pixabay.com

Final Thoughts

The strict quarantine order has been lifted not too long ago, and I am already back in my New York apartment. When I left my parents’ home, the situation remained unreadable. They hugged me goodbye, yes, but they did not mention anything about my bisexuality.

I guess I still had it easy compared to other people who came out to their loved ones. All I can do now is to pray for my parents to accept me soon.