Isn’t it delightful to be in a serious gay relationship these days?
The world has become accustomed to the nonconformities that queer folks bring to life. Fewer people will frown or bat an eyelid if they see two guys holding hands on the streets. You do not need to pose as a heterosexual to either retain a job or receive a promotion. More importantly, a growing number of countries are legalizing same-sex marriage, so you may tie the knot with your long-term partner anytime – and almost anywhere – you wish.
The thing is, you need to be sure that it is the path you want to take. Your relationship will not be so different from other couples’ after the wedding, in the sense that you now have someone to answer to when you come home late and take care of forever. There may be quarrels and temptations that will barrel down your way as well, and a minor slip-up can jeopardize your union.
If you still want to get hitched after reading all of that, then you deserve to know how to make a same-sex marriage last.
- Make Boundaries Known
“Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like” Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC said. From the get-go, it is highly significant to inform one another of the do’s and don’ts that you hope to follow with your spouse. For example, in case you prefer a monogamous relationship, say so immediately. If any form of flirting bothers you, you ought to tell your partner about it too. This way, both of you will have no excuse for crossing the boundaries.
- Surprise Each Other
The benefit of marrying someone of the same sex is that you may have more commonalities than heterosexual couples. A man knows what makes another man tick quite often; thus, you may be able to smooth out simple misunderstandings before they get worse.
Despite that, to make your marriage last, you need to do exciting stuff for your better half once in a while, and vice versa. Your initiative to surprise each other with gifts, trips, or even a candlelit dinner at home will undoubtedly reflect as an act of love and turn into a great memory. It can serve as an anchor to your union, especially during trying times. “Give yourself time to heal. We can be harder on ourselves than on any other person. Realize that fully overcoming the issues you had to face during your relationship may take time, and that’s OKAY.” That is according to Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC.
- Prioritize The Marriage
Your life does not have to stop when you tie the knot with your partner. You can still get a new hobby, try a different career, or fulfill your bucket list. However, before you decide to participate in any activity, you should honestly ask yourself, “Will it hurt my marriage?”
If you are thinking of gambling, drinking, or having an affair, then you have to scratch that thought stat. It will inevitably damage your relationship, and you know it. Considering you merely want to enter a rowing club or go to your best friend’s birthday, though, it remains wise to talk to your spouse about it or take him or her with you.
A perfect marriage does not exist – that is a fact. “Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner.” Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC said. You or your partner might commit a mistake or fall short of each other’s expectations sometimes, but that is okay. As soon as you internalize every idea mentioned above, no oddball, big or small, can ever shake your relationship.