Husbands and wives who want to be together for eternity do not let simple arguments become the cause of their split. They may yell at each other from time to time, yet they never go in for the kill, if you know what I mean. Nevertheless, there’s one deal-breaker that couples may not be able to get back from one of the partners comes out as a gay man or woman.
If that is the case, you should not:
- Assume It is Your Fault
Do you think your spouse turned into a homosexual human being due to your endless nagging? Well, that is not possible. It may allow steam to blow out of your better half’s head occasionally, but it can never make a heterosexual man gay.
Most of the time, he or she already felt their homosexuality even before meeting you. However, for the sake of having a family or burying their gayness deep down perhaps, they end up looking for a straight individual to marry. Hence, it is not and will never be your fault if your better half comes out of the closet.
- Stay In Isolation
One possible outcome of the revelation is that you will choose to hide from the public eye rather than face the questions of your friends and family members who only knew your significant other as a straight man. That is the typical reaction of a law offender, and you have no reason to fear or talk to your loved ones about the circumstance. “You definitely can hang on to your unique self, trusting you do know yourself enough, while still leaving space for another person to be their own true selves.” A piece of advice from Psychotherapist Sona DeLurgio, PsyD, LMFT.
Initially, you will not be the first couple wherein one is heterosexual while the other is homosexual. Secondly, it is ideal if you learned the truth straight from your spouse instead of seeing him at a restaurant with another man, or hearing about it from a relative.
The thing is, don’t ever be afraid of criticisms. Let them come – they will not kill you anyway.
- Forget Your Great Memories Together
Considering you found out about your man’s homosexuality years after the marriage, you surely have memories as a couple or family. Though you may feel betrayed in the beginning due to the late news, try to think of those remembrances before you make a decision that you cannot take him back again, e.g., throw his clothes out of the house, file for divorce, et cetera. “When a couple believe that the only way out of their troubles is to get a divorce, consulting a marriage therapist to get some impartial advice might help save the marriage as well as find a way to deal with the issues causing the stress.” Jennifer Baxt, LMFT, LMHC said.
- Think It is The End Of Your Happy Marriage
The coming out of your spouse does not entail that your married life is over. It will only end if you hate the idea of staying in the same roof with a gay man or he decides to have a boyfriend. However, in case he has harmless fun with homosexual friends, and you are willing to trust him a hundred percent, then the news cannot end your happy marriage.
Your husband can love you to the moon and back and still identify himself as a gay man. He may be a little soft on the edges, but there’s personally nothing wrong with that as long as he remains a responsible spouse in a monogamous relationship. “While divorce may be necessary and the healthiest choice for some, others may wish to try to salvage whatever is left of the union.” Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP said.