If you ask a transgender, lesbian, or gay man how they came out to their parents, the responses you will get do not fit for all. The luckiest of the bunch may say that it was as effortless as telling his folks that he’s set to pursue this or that career. However, the most exciting stories typically originate from the ones whose parents opposed – or will likely reject – their sexual preference.
You see, even in the 21st century, there are still people who dislike gays in general. The fact that their beloved child is one leaves a bitter taste in their mouth. Thus, many queers solely come out to their friends and never to their family, in fear of being disowned by the latter – the unit that’s supposed to accept them come what may.
If only such parents can remember the truths below, then there may be more happiness and peace on earth.
- Being Gay Is Not A Crime
With all due respect to what the Bible says, everyone has a right to be the individual he or she wants to be. It is not sinful for your child to admit that he or she is a queer. The proper term for it may be ‘unconventional,’ but feeling attraction towards the same sex does not make anyone a criminal. ““Coming out” can be an emotionally charged time punctuated by numerous transitions and changes.” That is according to Joseph Manera, PsyD.
- You Are Not A Failure
One thing that causes individuals to reject a gay kid is the thought that they failed as parents.
Well, the reality is that your parenting skills may have zero impact on your child’s gender preference. You can only consider yourself a failure if you refuse to be on your offspring’s side when they need you the most. After all, although the society already has a room for the LGBTQ members, your precious child may still experience rebuffs and discriminations later for coming out. If you cannot be there for them, then who else will be?
“I can’t overstress the potential fears that people have about discrimination,” she says. As a result, she says, “LGBT older adults can be reluctant to see health-care providers until their problems become so bad they can no longer avoid doing so.” –Linda A. Travis, PsyD
- Gayness Does Not Mean Your Kid Can Never Be Great
Another assumption that close-minded folks have about being gay is that it denotes the aimless life the child will lead.
While it is true that queers can party and have fun like no other person, it does not entail that they cannot stay focused on important matters and fulfill their dreams. We can no longer count how many successful actors, dancers, doctors, and other professionals out there can proudly say that they are gay. A few athletes in all-male sports teams already confessed their homosexuality to the public as well, and you can see them playing in the field up to now.
Thus, you cannot claim that gayness will turn your child into a bum. As long as he or she carries a talent that is worth sharing with the world, you will see them achieve their goals and become the most excellent version of themselves.
In case your kid tells you one day that he or she is a bisexual, lesbian, gay, or transgender, you are free to get angry or stay in denial at first. Nobody wishes to have a queer child, frankly speaking, so that kind of reaction is understandable.
Despite that, it will not be right to disapprove of his or her sexual preference forever. That is their choice, and you have to believe that it is the best one for them. Otherwise, none of you can honestly be happy. “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.” therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW said.